Monday, November 22, 2010

studid sex guide

1. Eating Mexican food is not the cause of gonorrhea.

2. There is no need for dice in role playing.

3. Intercourse doesn't happen on a highway.

4. If you engage in oral sex first, it's not called a head start.

5. If she says she's into "bondage," don't show her your financial portfolio.

6. You can lie down during a one-night stand.

7. When a woman talks about waiting for the "right time," she's not referring to a commercial break.

8. Only sleep with someone you love or can say you love without smirking.

9. Making out doesn't mean getting your money's worth.

10. Sex is like "The Club" - Accept no substitutes.

old timer sex

An elderly couple is enjoying a nice meal together at a local diner.

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.

So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks...

Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence...

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.

As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in...

Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen.

This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.

Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed.

He thinks he has learned something about life, love and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggles to their feet and puts their clothes back on.

The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply...

'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence'

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Cute and sexy look of Maria Ozawa and AV girl


Joke time again

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her
morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession
approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long
black hearse about 50 feet behind the
first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary
woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance
back, were about 200 women walking single file.

The woman was so curious that she respectfully
approached the woman walking the dog and said,
"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a
bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this.
Whose
funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was
trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line."

simple and meaningful joke

I have two rich sexy lesbian close friends and for my birthday they got me a Rolex.

Its great at telling the time but i don't think they understood what I meant when i said

"I wanted to watch!"

moment to laugh!!LOL is medcine!!

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:

'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.

Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?'

Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.'

Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?'

Pharmacist: 'All kinds.'

Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? '

Pharmacist: 'Definitely.'

Jacob: 'How about vaigras?'

Pharmacist: 'Of course.'

Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'

Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.'

Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'

Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.'

Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'

Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.'

Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'

Saturday, November 20, 2010

latest news: a 50 years old nany was raped without mercy


RAPED WILDLY AND NO MERCY!!!

joking time with SEX

A bloke goes to the doctor and says. "I got this sex problem doc."
The doctor asked, "Ok, tell me about your average day."
"Well, it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes me up at 3am for nookie and then again at 5 so we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to work."

"Oh I see", says the doc. "No, hang on". said the man." .... you see, when I get on the train to work I meet this girl everyday and we get a compartment to ourselves and have sex all the way there".

"Oh... now I see", said the quack. "No you dont" said our hero, "When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have to give her one in the storeroom."

"Oh... now I see", said the quack. "No no you dont" he said"
When I go lunch I meet this dinner lady I'm really fond of and we nip out for a quickie."

"Now I understand", says the patient doctor, "No, hang on" said the bloke. "When I get back to office, my boss, a very demanding lady I might add, has to have me or she says she'll sack me."


"Ahh...", said the doctors, "now I see..." "No, there's more", said the man, "when I get home, my wife is so pleased to see me she gives me a blow job before dinner and sex again afterwards."

"So, whats your problem then?" ask the doc.

"Well....", said our hero, "it hurts when I masturbate"

Friday, November 19, 2010

from a cute kid turns into a voluptuous and SEXY actress: Emma Watson


SEXY and VOLUPTUOUS pics of Emma Watson

How to Get a Verified Paypal Account

hye readers..

since i just got my new verified Paypal account, i think it is necessary for me to share this one ok..

In order to have a verified Paypal account, one should have a debit or credit card first. The reason is that Paypal need to verify your account based on this card. The most preferred card is a visa debit card and Public Bank offer this kind of card.

ladies and gentlemen,

These are the steps on how to make a verified ebay account

  1. Go to www.paypal.com
  2. Register an account in Paypal website. Choose the category of account preferrable such as premier, bussiness or personal. I just registered myself as personal since i do use Ebay for purpose of buying only.
  3. Kindly fill in the personal information in the form. I believed my readers capable of doing this.
  4. Next, fill in the information for your debit/credit card.
  5. Voila, finished and just wait till your paypal account to be verified by the Paypal itself
Ladies and gentlemen,

people always misunderstood that Paypal is a kind of bank. NO!!!
Paypal is just a way to make a safe deal online by hiding on the necessary card information ok!!

people who intend to shop online should have this ok and i strongly recommend my GF who is very shophaholic to start having the Paypal please.

thanks listeners..

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

cont: FOREX market structure

hye readers,
We have gone through the introduction and advantages of FOREX!!Now, i proceed to the part where you will be exposed on HOW you make money via FOREX and HOW to read the FOREX QUOTE dude..

In the forex market, you buy or sell currencies.

Placing a trade in the foreign exchange market is simple: the mechanics of a trade are very similar to those found in other markets (like the stock market), so if you have any experience in trading, you should be able to pick it up pretty quickly.

The objective of FOREX trading is to exchange one currency for another in the expectation that the price will change, so that the currency you bought will increase in value compared to the one you sold.

Example:

An exchange rate is simply the ratio of one currency valued against another currency. For example, the USD/CHF exchange rate indicates how many U.S. dollars can purchase one Swiss franc, or how many Swiss francs you need to buy one U.S. dollar.

Next,How to Read a Forex Quote

Currencies are always quoted in pairs, such as GBP/USD or USD/JPY. The reason they are quoted in pairs is because in every foreign exchange transaction, you are simultaneously buying one currency and selling another. Here is an example of a foreign exchange rate for the British pound versus the U.S. dollar:

The first listed currency to the left of the slash ("/") is known as the base currency (in this example, the British pound), while the second one on the right is called the counter or quote currency (in this example, the U.S. dollar).

When buying, the exchange rate tells you how much you have to pay in units of the quote currency to buy one unit of the base currency. In the example above, you have to pay 1.51258 U.S. dollars to buy 1 British pound.

When selling, the exchange rate tells you how many units of the quote currency you get for selling one unit of the base currency. In the example above, you will receive 1.51258 U.S. dollars when you sell 1 British pound.

The base currency is the "basis" for the buy or the sell. If you buy EUR/USD this simply means that you are buying the base currency and simultaneously selling the quote currency. In caveman talk, "buy EUR, sell USD."

You would buy the pair if you believe the base currency will appreciate (gain value) relative to the quote currency. You would sell the pair if you think the base currency will depreciate (lose value) relative to the quote currency.


Later on, you should determine whether you want to buy or sell.

If you want to buy (which actually means buy the base currency and sell the quote currency), you want the base currency to rise in value and then you would sell it back at a higher price. In trader's talk, this is called "going long" or taking a "long position." Just remember: long = buy.

If you want to sell (which actually means sell the base currency and buy the quote currency), you want the base currency to fall in value and then you would buy it back at a lower price. This is called "going short" or taking a "short position". Just remember: short = sell.


that is all i can tell you for this moment..since i'm busy with the EXAM ..

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

This Is Unexpected Okay!(Uncle in Love With Ex Permaisuri Agung?or she in love with uncle?)

salam readers,

I assume that all of the readers know bout this..the exposure of the relationship between Ex Permaisuri Agong and Mr Uncle SEEKERS..for me..this is kind of weird coz, totally a weirdo like Uncle is HOT...haha..U rocks Uncle..either way, i don't quite sure how and why these pics been spread all over the blogs in Malaysia..

No need to utter words okay..Picture will tell you thousands of things that unbearable for me to express.

Cute Couple with Cute Dress



Sopan Gitu..


Chubby and Hubby

'MEGAMIND' Summary


Just watched this muvie 2 hours ago and yes,definitely 4.5 star rated muvie in my view (for god sake even 4.5 star rated muvie, i just cant stop on laughing and fart..)

Btw, this is my quick summary regarding this muvie:

  • comedy cartoon and kind of exciting to watch with kids and gf
  • different story line than other superhero muvie style since the hero of this story (megamind itself) is a bad people at initial story line and end up with being a hero ( power of love changed him )
  • easy to catch the jokes
  • multi new jokes
  • lastly, happy story ending
my advise would be, for those who didn't watch this muvie yet, get your ass to nearest cinema and bring your child keyh

thanks listeners

Cont on Forex: Advantages Of FOREX

There are many benefits and advantages of trading forex. Here are just a few reasons why so many people are choosing this market:

No commissions

No clearing fees, no exchange fees, no government fees, no brokerage fees. Most retail brokers are compensated for their services through something called the "bid-ask spread".

No middlemen

Spot currency trading eliminates the middlemen and allows you to trade directly with the market responsible for the pricing on a particular currency pair.

No fixed lot size

In the futures markets, lot or contract sizes are determined by the exchanges. A standard-size contract for silver futures is 5,000 ounces. In spot forex, you determine your own lot, or position size. This allows traders to participate with accounts as small as $25 (although we'll explain later why a $25 account is a bad idea).

Low transaction costs

The retail transaction cost (the bid/ask spread) is typically less than 0.1% under normal market conditions. At larger dealers, the spread could be as low as 0.07%. Of course this depends on your leverage and all will be explained later.

A 24-hour market

There is no waiting for the opening bell. From the Monday morning opening in Australia to the afternoon close in New York, the forex market never sleeps. This is awesome for those who want to trade on a part-time basis, because you can choose when you want to trade: morning, noon, night, during breakfast, or in your sleep.

No one can corner the market

The foreign exchange market is so huge and has so many participants that no single entity (not even a central bank or the mighty Chuck Norris himself) can control the market price for an extended period of time.

Leverage

In forex trading, a small deposit can control a much larger total contract value. Leverage gives the trader the ability to make nice profits, and at the same time keep risk capital to a minimum.

High Liquidity.

Because the forex market is so enormous, it is also extremely liquid. This means that under normal market conditions, with a click of a mouse you can instantaneously buy and sell at will as there will usually be someone in the market willing to take the other side of your trade. You are never "stuck" in a trade.

Low Barriers to Entry

You would think that getting started as a currency trader would cost a ton of money. The fact is, when compared to trading stocks, options or futures, it doesn't. Online forex brokers offer "mini" and "micro" trading accounts, some with a minimum account deposit of $25.


Free Stuff Everywhere!

Most online forex brokers offer "demo" accounts to practice trading and build your skills, along with real-time forex news and charting services.

And guess what?! They're all free!

Practice to be smart okay before you plan on putting your real money into FOREX!

Thanks listeners


Monday, November 15, 2010

Something To Share: Intro to Forex

This is a literature review regarding on FOREX. Don't misunderstood me okay. I am not a FOREX player so whatever but i love to spend my freetime on doing research on something that MAY bring FORTUNE. However this is just a result from my findings only ok.

First, what is FOREX itself?

FOREX= Foreign Exchange

Analogy:
Imagine u r a very stunning cool person from USA coming down to Malaysia just for purpose of fishing. Once u arrived at airport, u change your money from Dollar to Ringgit Malaysia.
Actually by converting your money into other currency, you have involved in FOREX ok.
lets say you traded 20 dollar for 64 ringgit and you didnt use any single cent during your vacation okay (u eat fish that u caught,u sleep on beach under coconut tree, and u dont use money). And before you fly back home, you want to change back your money into the dollar currency. This time you wont get exactly 20 dollar since the dollar currency drop suddenly that time( this time you feel like a loss for not using ur money during vacation).

Next, How do you gain PROFITS in foreign exchange?

These changes in the exchanges rates will allow you to make money in the foreign exchange market.

FYI, the The foreign exchange market, which is usually known as "forex" or "FX," is the largest financial market in the world. Compared to the measly $153 billion a day volume of the New York Stock Exchange, the foreign exchange market looks absolutely ginormous with its a day $ 4 Trillion trade volume. Forex rocks !!!( Fact: it is basically 53 times bigger than NYSE, New York Stock Exchange)

However, after research made, That huge $4 trillion number covers the entire global foreign exchange market, BUT retail traders (that's us) trade the spot market and that's about $1.49 trillion.

So now you know not to be fooled when you read how the forex market is so huge. It's definitely huge, but not as huge as the media would like you to believe.

Google Worth is 9.5 Billion Approximately OKAY!!


Google is worth 9.5 Bil Dude!! haha..After using a special web (http://bizinformation.org/us) ..found this link while blog jogging and incredibly this web capable of giving u the value of any website (you name it and just click value)..no doubt bout it since it give u additional fact such as daily viewer and other essential parameters..its cool dude...try it on..why dont start with your wesite or blog site value first..haha...

Preview: Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallow (book summary)

In the previous movie of Harry Potter, the story ends with Dumbledore’s death (the greatest white bearded principal of magic school). And then, what happened next will be a mystery to the entire Potter movie lover especially on where is Harry heading soon after the death of his beloved master. There’s come the sequence which called Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows (correct me if I wrong okay).

Now, I am going to tell the story board okay (based on the original Book)..

Just after the death of Dumbledore, Voldemort has completed his ascension to power and gains control of the Ministry of Magic. Harry, Ron, and Hermione drop out of school. (I don’t quite so sure whether expelled or resigning ok) to find and destroy Voldemort's remaining Horcruxes. They isolate themselves to ensure the safety of their family and friends.

They do believed that the possibility that two of the Horcruxes are objects that belonged to Hogwarts founders Rowena Ravenclaw and Helga Hufflepuff, and that the third is Nagini, Voldemort's snake familiar. The locations of the two founders' objects are unknown, and Nagini is presumed to be with Voldemort himself. As they search for the Horcruxes, the trio learns details about Dumbledore's past, as well as Snape's true motives.


The trio recovers the first of Voldemort's Horcruxes, Salazar Slytherin's locket, by infiltrating the Ministry of Magic. They recover the Sword of Godric Gryffindor; it is one of a few objects that can be used to destroy Horcruxes (being dipped in Basilisk venom), and they use it to destroy the locket. In their travels the trio comes across a strange symbol, which an eccentric wizard named Xenophilius Lovegood (father of Luna) tells them represents the mythical Deathly Hallows.

The Hallows are revealed to be three sacred objects: the Resurrection Stone, a stone with the power to recall the dead to the world of the living; the Elder Wand, an unbeatable wand; and an infallible Invisibility Cloak. Harry learns that Voldemort is seeking the Elder Wand, but is unaware of the Hallows and their significance. The trio decides that discovering Voldemort's Horcruxes is more important than procuring the Hallows for themselves.

They break into Bellatrix Lestrange's vault at the Wizarding Bank Gringotts to recover another Horcrux, the cup of Helga Hufflepuff. Harry learns that another Horcrux is hidden in Hogwarts, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione enter the school. They find this Horcrux, the Diadem of Ravenclaw, and successfully destroy the cup and the diadem.


The book culminates in the Battle of Hogwarts. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, in conjunction with students and members of the wizard world opposed to the rise of Voldemort, defend Hogwarts from Voldemort, his Death Eaters, and various magical creatures.

Several major characters are killed in the first wave of the battle. Harry discovers that Voldemort inadvertently made Harry a Horcrux when he attacked him as a baby, and that he will have to die to destroy Voldemort.

Harry surrenders himself to Voldemort, who attacks Harry with the Killing Curse, sending Harry to a sort of Limbo between life and death. There, Harry first sees the killed piece of Voldemort's soul, that was attached to him, before meeting Dumbledore who explains that because Voldemort used Harry's blood to regain his full strength, Harry is protected from any harm that Voldemort could commit against him, meaning that the Horcrux inside Harry is destroyed, but Harry can return to his body despite being hit by the Killing Curse.

Harry then returns to his body, the battle resumes, and after the last remaining Horcrux is destroyed, Harry is able to defeat Voldemort.

So, in the end of the movie, there should be death of Voldemort…end of the Harry Porter since Jk Rowling do not wish to continue any story as she already be a billionaire already rite..

Thanks listener..

Saturday, November 13, 2010

ITS A LONG LONG WAY AHEAD...

Salam readers...

here, i want to share sum info to the people who are keen in becoming a professional engineer after graduating from the university.

listen dude..its not so hard to achieve prof. engineer or we called Ir....but the main thing is believe me you will find that being an ordinary engineer is very boring dude...in fact ur responsibilty is limited and you can't submit drawing, signing doc..etc..right??u wanna a title which signify your power and authority in engineering ok..this is what u should do..be a professional engineer ok..

now,i am going to take you to a simple tour or basic guidance of becoming a professional engineer okay??

first, soon after your graduating from engineering course, Please register with BEM..Board of Engineer Malaysia..really simple..in fact, before u can simply practise ur engineering skill, u have to reg yourself with BEM...amount need to pay is cheap ok..and once for a life time okay..

second step dude, just work at any consultation firm or company for atleast 3 years only..and work for hard okay for sure..and during the industrial work, pls do not straight away dump ur work paper or doc cos u need to prepare a report.

and later on after you finished the 3 years industrial working experience, you will have two options...first option is that you can go for PAE which stands for professional assesment examination okay..second you can reg with IEM , institution of engineer malaysia and you must be a corporate member ( before u become corporate member,do notice that there will be some kind of interview okay)...and one more thing, IEM will assign a person who is a prof engineer to assist your way to the top okay..

ok..FYI..most people who are the professional engineers nowadays told that better to take the second option since its simpler than the first choice..however..its just a tips ok..for sake of ur own..do make ur own destiny..

Last but not least,if u manage to pass the third step..u are 3 quarter of becoming an Ir dude..the final step is registration of professional engineer with BEM...once u can reg this and ur application pass, u are a professional engineer okay..do proud of yourself..

Importance of becoming an Ir???
-richer and famous
-more responsibility to bear
-and more stress waiting for you...

last but not least...the whole process only took bout 3-5 years depend of ur credibility+thinking skill+presentation skill+communication skill+problem solving thinking...haha...so be a quality engineer and do not be a corrupted one okay...

with all respects...good luck and wish all the engineers the best to provide a safety and reliable environment for us!!!

tq listeners~~






Friday, November 12, 2010

We Got The Big Issue?not yet

dear listeners,

"multi level marketing menguntungkan atau merugikan?"

lets see here, jika ada pakcik atau kawan yg x pnh bertegur anda dan all of a sudden call you and ask 'jom lepak mamak,ak belanja ko dude,no hal'..its means there is something fishy right there.

n it become more fishy as there comes people with suits,tie and leather shoes. They come to u and ask '' adik ni pelajar kan?so adik mesti penah mengalami masalah kewangan kan?abg ada satu solution yg menjamin masa depan adik satu ari nanti.."

The prob here, this person claims he own a BMW and therefore he convinced you that why wait, if u wait u wait forever dude. and once u reply question such as how,why and what, theres more talking and talking...bla bla bla..files were opened,recorded all their property...

Ok..enuf with all that richy stuff ok since people who experienced this know how they introduce their wealth..but its ok..listening to all their babling bout cars, houses an etc will make u more eager to start the MLM..

DUDE..sumtimes they start their conversation like this "MLM ni slalunya, kalau yg baru mesti akan meletup, sbb masih ramai org tak tau bnda ni"
ok..fully noted here, an amatur people will totally believe this shit...

OK..done with scenario..why do people keep on trusting on MLM and keep on creating the MLM..This is what we need to think deeply..

people keep on creating MLM since they know its the simplest and fastest way of generating money. Money given by the underlings will be funding straightaway into the account of the people who convince them to fund in MLM.

this is a chain system or rather called a pyramid system. Once the system developed and expanded, the top people who sit on top will be the most benefits and their underlings???the stupid people will be eaten alive their money..

next, if all of the people in this nation already reg the MLM, how would you find other stupid people to be underling?

this is simple...MLM is fraud..listen to me...its proven FRAUD okay..dun be so stupid to sell your house, lands just to enter the MLM...you are being rip out by useless freaking selfish minded people ok.. next time people who is rarely engange u and ask u to come for free eating function..tell him, if its about MLM, FUCK U...and if u wish to become rich, LEARN to be rich, study first..then go to nearest bank, and find expert people who know how to expand ur wealth in a proper and guaranteed way okay...and for MLM boses,u can be rich fast, but the dead end wil be the same..bankrupted or get in hell..ok??

thanks reader..